The Mother Wound
We all have places that have been wounded by our mothers or those that cared for us, or the culture we live in. Sometimes its deep. Some of us struggle to feel and be loved. All of us are working to be the ideal mother. The mother wound is a term that now registers in most of our vocabularies, a place where the female archetype of mother is wounded by the wounded mother before her. Society has only made the mother’s burden of expectation all the heavier. We now have to deal with a mother wound and we have to meet society’s standards of being a good mom.
A lot of us deplete ourselves in the process. Some of us whisper the oh so familiar almost there sentence. It sounds like this, “As soon as I blablabla, then I will really be a mom that has her act together.” A very obvious symptom of the mother wound expressing itself.
Today we are healing the mother wound. Which is great.
In the meantime I want to offer us this:
Somewhere there is a mother who has decided not to heal the mother wound. Because she is already healed. With the willpower of a great goddess she has decided to be perfect and healed right now.
She dances a dance with her daughter that is untouched and unsoiled by a patriarchal society that dictates the expectations and status quo. Even the status quo of believing that there is “a condition” called the mother wound that needs to be healed. She thought to herself, I don’t have time to address one more expectation and the mother wound was becoming one more expectation. One more expectation she needed to address before she could finally be a good mom.
This mother is living and breathing and raising her daughters (and sons) as if none of this wounding ever occurred. She has already skipped past all the drama and trauma of the “mother wound”. She is fearless in her quest to follow her heart, she long ago let go of what society said she could and could not do, be, or feel.
She is a rebel with a cause. She is a rebel in the finest sense of the word. A master using her rebellious streak like a fine tuned laser. Cutting away all of society’s extraneous crap that was not hers to begin with and living from a place that is clean and clear.
She rebelled against letting them tell her how she ought to be, including telling her that before she could be a rock star mom she would need to heal her mother wound. She rebelled against the critics inside of her own mind as well. Telling them if they had nothing nice to say, then they ought to shut the fuck up. (And yeah, she cussed when she said it)
She is a rebel, and like their less ethical cousins the outlaws, rebels live outside the laws of society’s norms. She was free.
Beautifully this freedom transferred right over into her life as a mother. And this of course spilled gloriously over into her daughter’s life. Her daughter does not question any of her desires. She does not feel guilty about wanting more, even though she already has the world. She shines bright, another glowing orb rising up right alongside her mother. Her mother who does not dim one ray of light. Her mother, who her spreads her beauty, wisdom, and voice indiscriminately to whomever stands in her radiance.
Her daughter sees this and does the same. Like wild horses they stampede over the earth, galloping together, liberated and unheeded by what others might think.
I caught a glimpse of her. A shimmering glance at what we as mothers already are. This beautiful liberated mother that no longer needed to heal anything, beckoned from the mountaintop to join her rebel crusade. To open my heart wide and love myself and everything in my path. She whispered on to the wind that the answer is to already be that which you want to be. A free unwounded mother balanced with grace and love, forgiving and forgiven, shining with the light of a thousand suns, radiant like a million moons.
You are already that which you want to be.
You are already a rockstar goddess mother.