10 Funny Mom Truths

This is meant to be silly, children are such a gift, but parenting can challenge you in ways you never dreamed. Enlightenment is easy in a cave, try it with a family. With that said, here is making light of some parenting truths.

1. You will have someone there to repeat everything you say in case you forget. “No mama, you said ‘oh shit’. I heard you, that’s what you said”. Okay thanks.

2. You will never be lonely again. Ever. Period. Not in the bathroom, not in the shower, not on the phone.

3. Your mom boobs get really big and plump. If only for a little while you have Goddess Boobs.

3. You finally have someone in your life to give you honest feedback. “Mom you breath smells funny”. Thanks.

4. You will have little people to point out the obvious when you are in public.”Mom why are that guys pants falling down, you can see his but.” Um, ahhh, yeah…..There are different responses to this one depending on whether said guy heard you, what age your child is, and whether you have been “over this before”.

5. You will finally have a valid reason to excuse yourself when your stuck with those people at that party, ‘Excuse me, I have to go check on the kids.” Use this while you can, it does not last forever.

6. You will learn things about time and space that no physics class could teach. Like when you blink your eyes and the 4 year old has just completely painted the face of the 2 year old, all while you filled up your water glass.

7. You will find yourself at some point silently apologizing to and praising your own mother, now realizing the trials you put her through. For me this happened when our oldest was 17. Sorry Mom……you are amazing.

8. For years after child birth, when uncomfortable situations come up you will think “well this isn’t so bad. At least its not labor.” Its been 6 years since my last child and I still think this.

9. You will learn a whole new definition of sleep deprivation. And a whole new love of coffee.

10. You will find out that no matter how many times you say, “Ok time for bed, go brush your teeth.” Your children will act shocked, like they did not see this coming, like it has not happened every night since they had teeth. This also applies to homework and vegetables.

 

You are a Woman with Intuition

Wake up mom, you ARE intuitive.

For centuries humans have been obsessed with the idea of people being able to see the future or know things.

The stories of gypsies staring into crystal balls has simultaneously intrigued us and repelled us with its air of mystery. The Tarot has been read for hundreds of years. Dating back to when the Egyptians had to flee Alexandria and roam the lands looking for a home. In their roaming they brought with them the “Tarot Cards”. They used the cards to divine the fates. Here the gypsies and their Tarot were met with intrigue and fear. For the later is the reason that the cards were disguised as a simple playing cards.

Then there were the witches.

Why would society fear a collection of women so much for their ability to talk to “Spirit”, or read the signs, or use the natural world for healing?  Fear them so much that countless women, were crucified for their methods.

In more recent history we have  an obsession with shamans and medicine men/women. Again these ones seem to possess a knowledge and intuition that the rest of us can only awe at. And again they have either been put on a pedestal for their “knowing-ness” or more commonly by the rest of society been called “charlatans”, a more gentle form of crucifixion, but crucifixion all the same. A squelching of intuitive healing, which is born of the divine feminine.

Humans are intrigued by the arts that seem to see into the dark, to divine answers where others seem lost, to see spirits, to communicate with the deceased, to hear the voices of angels, to see the auras of people, to hear the messages that the earth whispers in their ears.

But everyone can do all these things. These are not exclusive powers.

These are lost powers.

Or perhaps more appropriately stated, these are latent powers. They are like muscles that have not been used. But I assure you, we all have these muscles. And they can be great big muscles. Born out of the dark quiet that lies within, a muscle just waiting to happen.

Why is this so important right now to you as a woman and a mom?

     Because if you can wake this up in yourself, then you can help your child to never put it to sleep.

Being able to trust our inner knowing is a very feminine act.

It is a way that for centuries has been shoved back down woman’s throats. For so long “just knowing” was not enough. The fathers around you would say, “but how do you know?”. This is true for boys and men as well. Intuition is a feminine quality, yes. But when the women began to have to shove their knowing in their back pocket instead of giving it a voice, everyone suffered. The men and boys with out the lead of the woman trusting and speaking her knowing, did they same, they shoved it.  Life shriveled a little bit every time a woman had to put a lid on her intuition. And so the cycle of male dominated society became that much stronger.

 

Now is the time to shift that.

     You can start right now, by listening to the quiet within and teaching your children to do the same. Imagine if we all were given the freedom and encouragement to follow what we know from inside is the right path. This is the honoring the divine feminine within us all. This will give us a peaceful planet. A following of that voice that rises right out of the divine feminine within us all. She is so ready to shine again, let her out.

 

The timing is perfect.

It is like early spring in the consciousness of humanity. A perfect time to plant the seeds of children that follow their intuition and knowing about what is good, right, and compassionate. To do this you need only practice it yourself, and then practice it with your children.

To learn about intuition and kids, read the article “Teaching Your Kids Intuition”.